Key Moments of a non-religious Wedding ceremony in Ireland
What Happens During a Wedding Ceremony? A Step-by-Step Guide for Couples
If you're getting married in Ireland and have chosen a civil, humanist, or secular ceremony, congratulations—you’re in for a truly personal and meaningful experience.
That said, many couples (especially those who haven’t been to many weddings recently, or who aren’t Irish) feel a bit unsure about what actually happens during the ceremony. Do you wait at the top of the aisle? Who tells you what to do? Will it be stressful?
The short answer: it’s much simpler than you think.
Here’s a step-by-step guide to what usually happens during a lay ceremony, including what you need to do as the bride or groom—and how to feel more relaxed about it all.
Before the Ceremony Begins: A Quick Check-In with the Celebrant
Once guests are seated and everyone is in place, there’s always a brief, quiet moment between the celebrant and the couple—or one of the partners, depending on the entrance plan.
If you’re entering together, the celebrant will say a quick hello to both of you before starting. If one of you is waiting at the front (often the groom), you’ll have a quiet minute alone with the celebrant while everyone gets ready.
This short moment is reassuring. The celebrant might explain where to stand, remind you to breathe (yes, it happens!), and double-check any small details.
Important to Note:
During the private moment with the celebrant, no photographer is allowed to be present. Additionally, during the ceremony itself, I am not permitted to speak or intervene—that responsibility belongs solely to the celebrant.
Throughout the ceremony, the photographer’s role is to quietly observe, capture the ambiance, and find the best angles to document the experience. My personal focus is on emotionally significant moments, especially those shared between the couple and their families.
Key moments I will capture include:
The arrival of the bride or couple
Any speeches (if applicable)
The exchange of rings
The signing of official documents
The couple’s kiss
During the document signing, the celebrant may invite the couple and close family to pause for a few posed photos. I will be ready to capture both the signing and these special portraits as soon as I’m invited to do so.
Please note that the ceremony typically lasts around 20 minutes, though this may vary depending on the number of guests, inclusion of family speeches, or participation by musicians.
Standing at the Front
Once you're both at the front, the celebrant will guide you where to stand—usually side by side, facing your guests, or slightly turned toward each other.
You don’t need to memorise anything. The celebrant will give small, quiet prompts when needed.
The Ceremony Structure (And What You’ll Do)
1. Welcome
The celebrant welcomes your guests, introduces the ceremony, and often shares a few thoughts on love, relationships, and what marriage means to you as a couple.
📸 These are gentle moments—lots of smiles and eye contact between you two.
2. Your Story
The celebrant tells a short version of your story: how you met, why you work well together, and maybe a few sweet or funny anecdotes. You just stand together and listen—no pressure!
3. Readings or Music (Optional)
Friends or family might do a short reading, or you might have music (live or recorded). You can also skip this part—it’s your choice.
You can hold hands, relax, and enjoy the moment. The celebrant will tell you when to turn or step aside if needed.
4. Symbolic Gestures (Optional)
If you’ve chosen a handfasting, candle lighting, or another ritual, the celebrant will explain everything and guide you through it step by step.
You don’t need to rehearse—just follow the simple instructions. These moments are usually slow, meaningful, and beautiful.
5. Vows and Ring Exchange
This is the heart of the ceremony. You may repeat short phrases after the celebrant, read your own vows, or just say “I do.”
Then, you’ll exchange rings—again, the celebrant will cue everything: which hand, when to speak, when to slide the ring on.
💬 Most couples are surprised at how calming this part is. You’ll only be focusing on each other.
6. Signing the Register
If your ceremony is legally binding, you’ll now sign the register with your witnesses. If it’s symbolic only, you might still do a ceremonial signing for photos.
7. The Pronouncement
The celebrant says the magic words: “I now pronounce you married!” This is followed by a kiss, a cheer from your guests, and lots of emotion.
8. The Exit
You walk back down the aisle together—smiling, laughing, maybe dancing—while music plays and your guests cheer. It’s the start of your celebration.
One of the last things you can do, if you like, is hold hands and walk down the aisle together to get out of the room. It's a great moment that makes for some lovely candid photos and moments at the end of the ceremony.
One Final Word: You Don’t Need to Remember Anything
If you’re feeling nervous about what to do, here’s the good news:
Your celebrant will guide everything.
They’ll tell you where to stand, when to speak, when to hold hands or move. They’ve done this dozens—sometimes hundreds—of times, and their job is to make sure you feel calm, supported, and present.
So the best advice I can give you is this:
Stay relaxed. Follow the celebrant’s instructions. Trust the flow.
This is your moment—not a performance. And the more at ease you are, the more you’ll remember it with joy.
